“This I don’t want to feel, I simply can’t stand it, never, ever!” One hurdle in self-perception processes is, when clients get a sense of inner states which feel so painful, so disturbing, so fragile, so undignified that, initially, there seems to be no option to be who they are. On the counselling side it …
Paradoxical interventions have acquired a certain ‘fame’, because they appeared so different, so clever and so effective. And actually, from a metatheory viewpoint, they seem a favourable tool for using the guiding processes acceptance and personal responsibility in order to enable change, where change is not wanted. “I would suggest that tomorrow, in the meeting, …
You can thank systemic counselling for one of the most important expansions in counselling techniques of the last fifty years. Family therapy emerged from individual therapy, because one could interpret the symptoms of the individual as a reaction to the communication patterns in the family. The same applies to problematic employees in teams etc. If …
The boundaries of my imagination are the boundaries of my world. I can use that which I can respond to, but that which I ignore or have to ignore remains closed to me as an option. Many possible things are impossible within the clients’ framework (in the context of their problems): that conflicts dissolve, that …
Guilt feelings arise when an inner accuser (self-representation 1) (<b>(</b><a href=”https://metatheorie-der-veraenderung.info/wpmtags/repraesentanzen/”>Selbstrepräsentanz</a> 1) confronts an inner accused (self-representation 2), and the accused takes these accusations seriously. They are an expression of an unfruitful inner conflict and, in the social context, they lead to mutually blaming each other in the hope of getting rid of the guilt. …
The ability of the counsellor to allow himself to be moved emotionally and to show the client that he is moved emotionally is not a technique in the strict sense (because this cannot be employed at will). Nevertheless, it is, when it happens, a highly effective intervention. For clients, whose problems have anyway often occurred …
Shame processes in clients are a phenomenon not easy to handle in counselling. Shame enormously restricts showing oneself and may even make it impossible. Many people experience shame as a particularly terrible feeling. Competent counsellors are continuously attentive to small signs of possible shame. Overlooking it when someone is ashamed often has consequences. To shame …
Nobody can read the thoughts in the mind of another and study the feelings in their heart. Everything which we believe we know about others is our interpretation. It is nourished from that which we perceive and the significance which we attach to the perceptions. If a client is now asked what significance, in his …
Maybe it sounds banal: the more accurately the counsellor can describe how a client, or a team, appears, the more effective are the interventions. For this, the counsellor needs the abilities of a poet, i.e. the vocabulary plays a great role. It makes a difference whether the counsellor says: “You appear to be careful!” or …
“Love it, leave it or change it!” This well-known saying is metatheoretically very wise. Disengagement competence refers to the strategy ‘Leave it’. People can also inappropriately hold on. The final building block of regulation competence is being able to let go, recognise that with this person, with this employer, with this colleague something is not …