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Closeness in Couple Relationships

For many people, closeness is equated with couple relationships. This is why one falls in love – one wishes to share everything with another. This ‘honeymoon period’ is usually lost in daily life. The exchange, the fostering of intimacy, the keeping alive of connectedness, the wanting to lose oneself in the eyes of the other must be consciously cultivated. Those who believe this will work on its own, may easily miscalculate. Why? Closeness as an attractor has, at its core, curiosity, thus, it is coupled to the new. When the novelty with the partner wears off, (one already knows about the mole under the shoulder blade), one requires a conscious cultivation of renewal. This art is the secret of lasting relationships, which constantly combine the familiar with the new. This allows for the possibility of a peaceful delight in the fascination of familiarity and in shared surprises. As well as curiosity, allowing oneself to be touched by the experience of the partner is of crucial importance. The simple question, “Did it taste good!” can be convention or a participation in the experiencing of the other. What is clear, without closeness relationships become a ‘next-to-each-other’ or a ‘without-each-other’. Coincidence then dictates whether one grows old together, whether the cohesion at some point consists only of conflicts or whether new people awaken the extinguished curiosity and new relationships are entered into.

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