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You learn self-acceptance from being with others, by affirming yourself through them, by feeling strengthened or praised and perceiving the pride and the shine in the eyes of the other. Just as important for self-acceptance (!) – you learn that something is clearly required of you, or denied to you.

In the case that the child mostly experiences this again and again, it will internalise this interaction with itself. You learn to affirm yourself, to strengthen yourself, to handle yourself with care, to be proud of yourself, to provide yourself with self-discipline, to set yourself boundaries and to demand something of yourself. The consequence of this self-cultivated acceptance consists of an autonomous attitude towards the affirmation and negation offers in interaction with others. Those who can strengthen themselves, are neither dependent upon the affirmation of others, nor will they be dependent upon others or need any admiration for their performance. They will be pleased about such signals, but no more than that. If you can meet yourself in a friendly-critical way, you will not allow yourself to be blinded by the praise of others and will remain with both feet firmly on the ground. The same applies to the other pole: if you are exposed to criticism by others, you will see in this a chance to take its essence seriously and take up the suggestion. You will reject the inappropriate in the criticism and let it pass. Therefore, if someone, as an adult, continuously does something to obtain praise from others and to avoid criticism, then this is an indication of a psychological impairment.

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