Expecting the Ability to Satisfy

If you stand in the desert, feel your thirst and take your longing for a drink very seriously, it is not much use, because you may know that there is no kiosk around the corner, where you can buy something. If people have experienced the world as a place in which there is no one …

In so far as one has perceived a need, one requires the ability to give it significance. This can also be different: “Sure, sometimes I feel lonely. But closeness is not so important that it would be worth occupying oneself with it. It only distracts me from my job.” The ability to tell yourself that …

To follow up on a need, I must first be able to perceive it. If someone says that he does not recognise the desire to be close to other people, he does not need to regulate it either. If something does not exist, all other questions are superfluous. That people deny the existence of certain …

The six (<b><a href=”https://metatheorie-der-veraenderung.info/wpmtags/grundbeduerfnisse/”>Grundbedürfnisse</a></b>) Metatheory of Change basic needs are regulated competently when all needs are permitted to be (but do not have to be) and one can, at any time, change from one need to its opposite need (but does not have to). If clients impress by being fixated on one of the need …

Fruitful internal conflicts are characterised by the fact that they are based upon the perception of a need and an avoidance impulse which is coupled with it. This distinction of differentiating unfruitful from fruitful internal conflicts is rarely found in current counselling theories and interventions (see <b><a href=”https://metatheorie-der-veraenderung.info/wpmtags/konfliktmuster/”>Konfliktmuster (innere)</a></b>). From a technical counselling viewpoint though, …

Every counsellor knows this: The client talks about a situation from his daily life and gets tears in his eyes, or he clenches his fists. As soon as he notices this or is asked about it, he interrupts his inner experiencing by distracting himself, he stops or starts speaking or he breathes shallowly. The simplest …

If one has no word for certain forms of one’s own experiencing, then self-perception cannot become concise. “Somehow, I feel bad!”, “How exactly does ‘bad’ feel?”, “Well, I cannot explain it exactly, just bad!”. This apparently fictitious dialogue is experienced very often. Clients frequently need support to avoid evaluating their experiencing superficially (bad!), but instead …

“Would you like to try something?”. Maybe this question most easily represents a whole bundle of techniques which aim to have an influence on the self-perception of the client. One could also call this experiments in self-experiencing: “What happens if you: – allow yourself to breathe more deeply?, … sit up more?, … quietly look …

Counselling work needs all the conscious resources of the client, clear thinking, ability to reflect, active decision-making capacity, the ability to assess competences and a commitment to holding onto what has been agreed. It is very important that an agreement is formed and maintained between this conscious self-representation of the client and the counsellor about …

Every person shapes the present moment with his counterpart in a conscious and unconscious way. The ways and means of how and when pauses arise, when eye contact is sought or broken, how and when questions are avoided, how subjects are avoided, what rhythm the conversation has, what length the contributions have, what details are …