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Fruitful Internal Conflicts

Fruitful internal conflicts are characterised by the fact that they are based upon the perception of a need and an avoidance impulse which is coupled with it. This distinction of differentiating unfruitful from fruitful internal conflicts is rarely found in current counselling theories and interventions (see <b><a href=””>Konfliktmuster (innere)</a></b>). From a technical counselling viewpoint though, this difference is very significant. With each issue described by the client, one must examine what this need could be, which makes its perception or satisfaction so impossible or difficult, because of the way in which the client deals with his problem: “You know, I am always the quickest in my head and the person with the best solutions. My problem is this, how can I get my colleagues to ‘buy-in’?” Someone who explains his concerns in this way has firstly no consciousness about the fact that his need for belonging and closeness is being neglected, and, secondly, that he lives out his need for uniqueness without any contact. The fruitful internal conflict could also consist of this: on the one hand, his desire to feel lovable even without outstanding performance, and on the other hand, his (great) fear, that basically no one really wants anything to do with him. In his description of the problem he does not consciously see the need and the fear as relevant, and, furthermore, they are not perceived.

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