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Client’s Norms

In terms of this metatheory, there can be no objective, fixed and absolute norms and rules of behaviour. They are always chosen implicitly or explicitly and affect all psycho-dynamic processes. What seems forbidden, for example, is experienced as fixed, is unconsciously internalised, keeps prohibited impulses as diffuse as possible, inhibits false needs, hides forbidden urges, negates feelings and thoughts of the wrong kind, produces particularly eager resonance with forbidden stimuli from outside and makes it improbable that they should make the forbidden plausible, because they will immediately judge it. This does not mean, though, that norms are bad or wrong, quite the opposite, they are an indispensable part of social interaction. However, they can only exercise this function when they have been chosen and experienced with personal responsibility and consciousness. Then you will know that it could also be different, and you will gain flexibility for yourself and others. Otherwise, norms are too rigid and thus not appropriate to the situation; they threaten to aggravate and sharpen conflict. Those who ascribe the bad to others, and the good to themselves, immediately create conflict. The attention of the counsellor should, therefore, also focus on how the client uses norms and values in the context of his concerns and how much he sees himself as the creator of his morality.

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