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The Unspoken

That which the client does not speak about is just as important as that which he tells. Why? You can only narrate and bring those concerns into counselling of which you are conscious. If, then, the counsellor only occupies himself exclusively with that, which the client tells him, something goes wrong. When a manager never speaks of conflicts, of difficult feedback, of internal outrage, of being overburdened, of fear, of shame or guilt, then it is worth asking about this, in particular when in the counselling relationship itself effects can be perceived which have a relationship to the items above. For example, if the counsellor himself receives pressure to give feedback (“One really ought to tell him sometime…!”), feels intimidated or if he himself, in place of the client, has distinctive feelings. This analysis of the unspoken is, from a metatheory viewpoint, a significant technique, the prevalence of which we consider to be rather scarce.

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