Uniqueness in Couple Relationships
To affirm the other in that which makes them special is a very important aspect of successful relationships. Affirming means encouraging the other to follow their impulses (even there where you can only share them to a limited degree), to share the pleasure about their successes and lovingly view their incompleteness and quirks. The same applies in reverse: it is also important to allow yourself to be affirmed! For this, you need the courage to become visible to the other with that which is going on inside you, including all your longing, craziness and assumed inadequacies. The more you try to be something different, better or more perfect, the less you can be affirmed in that which you are, and the more you draw attention to a ‘performance’. This causes stress, serves nothing and makes you lonely. In relationships, this way reduces the connectedness and the contact no longer offers anything which touches you and which can allow you to feel touched.