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Thinking and Avoidance

“Now I’m confused!” This reaction to a simple explanation from a counsellor arises, again and again. Suddenly the clients can no longer keep up, lose the thread, no longer understand the simplest correlations, forget what has just been said by the other person etc. The thinking process no longer works properly. What lies at the root of this is often an avoidance that something may become concise. This is because it would have consequences if one understood it! Then one could no longer maintain the old frame of reference, one could no longer see oneself as the victim, then the basis for the criticisms of others would collapse, etc. From a counselling point of view, it is important to reckon with the avoidance function of such behaviours and not to automatically think that one has not expressed oneself clearly. That would be naïve, and an opportunity would have been missed.

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