Significance of Needs
In so far as one has perceived a need, one requires the ability to give it significance. This can also be different: “Sure, sometimes I feel lonely. But closeness is not so important that it would be worth occupying oneself with it. It only distracts me from my job.” The ability to tell yourself that something is important and that you must engage with it, can be severely compromised. Sometimes we are surprised that someone can be at the point of breakdown, has become ill, is threatened with divorce and yet he still does not alter anything in his life and ignores internal signals. From this example it also becomes clear that the (habitual) ignoring of need impulses is widespread. Taking a need seriously is not necessarily the same as having a good intention. Rather, the latter is frequently a substitute for meeting a need. “Yes, you are right, I ought to lose weight. I will start next week!” does not have the same meaning as “I feel my pleasure when moving and, therefore, I am going to go running twice a week.” Thus, the ability to regard a desire as important is a part of regulation competence!