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Sensitivity is a term from bonding research and means the ability of parents to intuitively tune into and synchronise with the infant. This is not a cognitive process, but it emerges from the possibility of getting involved with the other person, with intensity, modulation, rhythm, rise and fall of energy, volume and strength, for the moment and in duration. Most people can see immediately when two individuals are like that with each other. They swing together. Such elementary dialogic experiences are particularly important for developing the child’s ability to say ‘yes’ and ‘no’ well. Where someone feels that another notices that they need something or that they have enough, a perception develops about how it is to care for oneself well. It enables the inner orientation of boundaries and the ability to say ‘no’ and ‘yes’ to others. This is indispensable for the development of empathy. Clients seek counselling for these problems, not least, because in their early life they had to do without such sensitivity. For this reason, the developed sensitivity in the counsellor has great significance.

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