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Relationship Interlocking

A sure indication of a lack of personal responsibility is when people make their wellbeing dependent upon specific behaviours in other people. The common sentence which goes with this is “I would like you to…!” This interlocking in the relationship brings great disadvantages with it:

• Firstly you seek an easy solution and give up a part of your autonomy

• Secondly, reactance is easily created in other people, because they have the feeling they are obliged to do something.

• Thirdly you rely on the means for satisfying needs, rather than on the needs.

• Fourthly, you put yourself into the position of having to manipulate other people to deliver the desired behaviour (rewarding, punishing). Thus you lose the feeling that other people are happy to fulfil your desires voluntarily.

How is it that this occurs in people? This is because one feels dependent upon a certain behaviour in the other person, because, otherwise, one feels threatened by an experience within the self and this carries with it uncomfortable feelings. <a href=”” target=”_blank”>Here you will find an article </a> which explains the relationships in more detail.

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