Relatedness in Expression of Need
“Don’t make such a fuss. It is not a big deal if you stay longer today so that we can finish the job!” Lack of relatedness, missing contact and empathy usually reduce the likelihood drastically that others will respond to one’s own desires. Desires then become demands, manipulations (“But you are my dear boy…!”, “Now I am being completely stupid again, I simply can’t do it as well as you do.”), barter (“If you …, then I …!”), criticisms (“I am always there for you, but when I need something …!”) or threats (“If you don’t …, then you will see what ….!”). All these are contactless strategies of need expression. In most cases they are dysfunctional and therefore worthy of change.