Need for Security
Almost everyone wants security. It is not as sexy as freedom, but, nevertheless we do not wish to do without it. Security is usually sought externally, similar to freedom. Here, however, it is even more d to count on stabilising outside circumstances in such a way that they are sufficiently secure, today more than ever. Hardly anything is secure anymore: pensions, life insurance, the job anyway, market environment, careers, marriages, friends …. Therefore, the psychological competence to find security by securely handling the interaction with insecurity becomes critical. Security, like freedom, is an inner state: I am secure that together with others, I will find the answers, no matter what life brings. Those times, when, in the case of misgivings, the tribe saw to everything are over, almost everywhere. Therefore, you need reliable internal structures such as: self-discipline, resilience, clear understanding, the ability to question and critically examine, the ability to defer desires, emotional control, the ability to gather information, as well as rules, values and routines which cannot be easily challenged, the ability to be thorough and to ensure you have a plan B. All these abilities might have been compromised, because you have grown up in surroundings in which you were not really allowed to become adult, as you have obtained everything too quickly and too easily. If you have not been taught how to try hard, how to do without and how to get by with shortage, you might find life difficult. It is therefore extremely challenging to live securely in an inevitably insecure world, so that the security is not sought and found externally, but inside yourself. This is an occasion for counselling which pays off.