Function of Acceptance
The psychological guiding process, to which one reacts with affirmation or negation, can be accomplished by the psychological system functionally or dysfunctionally. It is functional, when both are used to gain clarity about oneself in the world, to set boundaries and to furnish one’s own concerns with strength and endurance. Reliability and courtesy (in the form of loyalty and saying farewell) function like this. Relationships remain alive and develop further, in as much as one makes oneself available and at the disposition of the other, about what one affirms or negates. Relatedness requires boundaries. Affirmation and negation become dysfunctional when they lead to a lack of reflection (see personal responsibility): Those who only identify with their choice as right/wrong, good/bad and beautiful/ugly (“That’s the way it is!” or “I will always see it this way. End of Story!”), will be without contact and will force their own prejudices onto others. The same principle applies inwardly: Those who muddle up affirmation and negation with judgments, no longer use the distinction for orientation, but for declarations and fixations which are no longer context- and present-related. This leads to a self-division into good and bad, right and wrong, beautiful and ugly aspects of their own person. Through this, internal strait-jackets are created, internal imprisoning areas and deep rifts and dungeons, into which the undesired is exiled (and not just held in the background temporarily).