Freedom in Couple Relationships
“Love is a child of freedom.” (L. M. Moeller). Some couples end their relationship and following this, they both say “Now, at last, I can do what I want!”. The (fatal) tendency of limiting unnecessarily one’s own freedom or that of the partner, is one of the reasons why a power struggle is ignited about who is allowed to make which rules about what, or who can forbid whom to interfere where. Bonding and self-determination, though, are not in opposition, they enhance each other!
However, for those who limit their own freedom or cling because of a fear of loss, the freedom of the partner is perceived as a threat and not an enrichment of their lives. In addition, it will not go well for long, when one partner lives their freedom and the other does not know what to do with this or takes the load off the partner. It is just as insupportable when one lives their freedom but does this without contact and closeness to the other. Both, almost inevitably, lead to co-existence and to depressive developments