Feeling and Avoidance
An effective procedure for keeping your distance from as many feelings as possible is to speak intellectually, abstractly and with nice words about yourself (or others). People who behave that way appear very distant, because they, themselves, no longer know how they feel. When in doubt, they explain and justify their behaviour logically and impeccably, but in their environment everyone ‘knows’, that these are not the real reasons. People with such strategies easily fall into strong conflict with others (partners, colleagues), because they are unreachable, but deny this (“But I am completely open with you and like listening to you!”) or they give it no importance (“I don’t know what you are on about?!”)