Competence to Abstain
“Love it, leave it or change it!” This well-known saying is metatheoretically very wise. Competence to abstain describes the strategy “Love it”, Being able to cope with things that cannot be changed whilst maintaining inner peace, is a part of functional regulation competence. Those who cannot do this, will, as a rule, be unhappy in this world. This must be strictly differentiated from resignation, from giving up too soon, and from an insufficient valuing of the self. These distinctions are not always easy to make, neither for the client himself, nor for the counsellor. It is advisable, here, to investigate thoroughly and to avoid making too hasty a judgment.